Tuesday With Moi: New Year’s Eve

Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013. What a year! Already, it feels so long ago.

10Le Chat made many resolutions for 2014. The first is to tweet more. The second is to manicure her paws more regularly, and the third is to overcome her eating disorder. (Sometimes she overeats and gets sick. It’s a problem.) Le Chat’s fourth resolution is contingent on receiving a particular gift; if she does receive said gift, Le Chat would like to learn to use the toilet this year. She thinks it’s far more sophisticated than using a litter box. I couldn’t agree more.

11I’ve said it once and I’ll probably say it a thousand times more as the years come and go, but I can’t help but feel that January 1st is a terrible time to start doing anything drastic and life-changing.  January is bleak. The entire month is essentially a 31-day-long hangover and everything from the weather, to the time the sun sets, and the state of our bank accounts is generally depressing. There are much better days to declare resolutions– birthdays!, anniversaries!, the third tuesday of July! Any day except January 1st.

12I mean, the only pressure I want to feel on the morning of January 1st is that of a duvet atop my sleeping body.  And maybe Le Chat curled on my feet. You know?

13But all that resolution stuff aside, the real conundrum of the season is that I never know when the time is right to take down my Christmas decorations.  It doesn’t feel right to get rid of them before the New Year, but if I don’t do it soon I just know I’ll have them up until February…

14Turns out my rule is this: if the garland still smells nice, leave it for a while longer.  And then paint your nails and use your wet nail polish an excuse to not do any decoration clearing at all. Voila! Conundrum avoided.

15The problem with waiting for the rain to clear is that sometimes it never does. In these cases, you just have to be brave and lace up your boots and pretend to be an American pioneer venturing out into the wilderness to feed your family. Assuming the families of American pioneers needed coffee, booze and chocolate truffles, of course…

16True story: New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day are the two nights out of the entire year where you will never, under any circumstances, find me in a bar, pub, or restaurant.

17Why? Because on New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day, the world is full of people with expectations. On these two nights, fate hangs in the stars and people will their destinies to change. Personally, I don’t pay to spend time in tight quarters with people who are frantic for something exciting to happen. It depresses me. I’d rather sit at home with my feet up, thanks.

18Every year, on these two special nights, David and I stay in. This year, I made the two of us a surprisingly delicious dinner. Isn’t it great that we can eat avocados year-’round in England?! Avocados in December– it truly is a great time to be alive!

19After dinner, we opened a nice bottle of wine.

20And then David did some party tricks. It was wild!

21After lighting some candles and putting the chocolate truffles out, our friends arrived.

22And, as they were our hostages until midnight, we forced them to play Settlers of Catan with us.

23They were good sports but I was the winner. Twice.

24And then it was time for kisses and toasts to a New Year.

25But nothing changed or felt any different. And it was still raining. Obviously.

26After our friends left, David and I poured ourselves cups of Detox tea, settled in for an episode of Dexter, and then slipped into a beautiful sleep knowing we didn’t have to do anything the following day.

And just like that, January was welcomed in the laziest, cosiest, most wonderful way. I think it’s going to be a great year!

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